How the Idea of When Caring Counts Most Was Born
Rabbi Elchonon Zohn of NASCK (National Association of Chevrah Kadisha) never knows what his days will bring. As someone who is extremely devoted to the klal in inyanim of kavod hameis, he fields tens of phone calls daily with questions, concerns, and emergencies.
One day a man came to speak to him, his face reflecting the crushing burden he bore. He explained that as a caretaker for a parent with dementia, he was really struggling. There are supportive organizations out there such as Chayim Aruchim and Zicharon. But he was looking for inspiration, for meaning in what he was doing, to know the value in his efforts. “It’s just hard,” he shared. “Physically hard to care for my parent and emotionally hard to see who my parent has become.”
He was frustrated that he was unable to find appropriate reading material. Rabbi Zohn listened. He heard. But he didn’t really have any materials to offer him.
Quiet Time at Chevrah Lomdei Mishnah
It was a relatively quiet time at Chevrah Lomdei Mishnah, so we reached out to Rabbi Zohn. “Are there any projects you know the klal could benefit from?” we asked. Without missing a beat, Rabbi Zohn, remembering the conversation described above, answered that there was a need for a book with proper hashkafah to give chizzuk to caretakers.
And that’s how the idea for When Caring Counts Most was born.
A New Project is Initiated
When the idea was presented to me, I wasn’t sure if I should say yes or no. But when he described the project, I was ready to jump in. After all, I wasn’t doing the writing. All I had to do was ask the right people to contribute articles. We wanted articles from a wide range of people: rabbanim, therapists, lawyers, and doctors. And of course, we needed some personal stories too.
One thing I have learned is that there might be one or two people who actually express a need. But if one person expresses it, it means that there are many more who need it. This was proven to me by the willingness with which so many busy professionals and rabbanim graciously acceded to my request for an article, despite their overflowing schedules. They too agreed that there was a void that needed to be filled.
It was an honor for me to interview such notables as Dr. Howard Leibowitz and Rabbi Naftali Katz. And I was equally honored when various other knowledgeable and respected individuals agreed to write articles for us.
What You Can Find Inside this Book
The hashkafic views from the many rabbanim make this a Torahdik publication. But reading the advice from lawyers such as Mr. Mark Kurzmann and Mr.Ronald Spirn is important and eye-opening as well. And so many people can benefit from the therapists’ perspectives. I found it fascinating to speak to Rabbi Haikins, Mrs. Chaya Leah Rothstein and Mrs. Miriam Goldberg and to help them compile their personal stories.
There were also articles that were taken with permission from the NASCK website. Soon we were putting together a book of articles that when woven together created a masterpiece for caregivers in need of support.
Welcome to Our Jewish Home
But our project wasn’t yet complete. Along came the talented Mrs. Chaya Leah Rothstein with a pamphlet she had put together many years before for non-Jewish caregivers to explain common situations that come up in a Jewish home, including kashrus, tzniyus, Shabbos and various yamim tovim. What was extra-special about the material was that Mrs. Rothstein had received a haskamah from Rabbi Yisroel Belsky. For various reasons, however, she never had the pamphlet published. Now we had the opportunity to combine this pamphlet for aides, now titled “Welcome to our Jewish Home,” with our book for those caring for an elderly relative.
I watched my grandparents age. I watched how their children cared for them. I was awed at what they did for their elderly parents. I was also left feeling – how? How can a child watch their parent age like this? It must be so, so hard. I never had the opportunity. Both my parents died young. Their children never had the chance to take care of elderly parents. And that is a big loss for us.
But I am honored for the opportunity to have put together something for the very many amazing people who put their hearts and souls into the care of their parents. Hashem should give them strength to continue, and there should be no more suffering in Klal Yisrael.
Chevrah Lomdei Mishnah / The Society for Mishnah Study is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization dedicated to providing loved ones eternal merit through Torah Study and Prayer.
